Continuing my cycle of archival revival I penned an album based as a follow up to Ambassador into the depths of paradise. I wanted to do a brief backstory to each track and perhaps one day I will expand through a different medium.
Dim The Lights
The leading track on the album is a blend of past, present and future. I often find people unable to keep up with the pace of how I live my life. Yet even though I like to find ways to find joy in the attempt of keeping up with me. Life is full of judgement and hesitation and while there is always boundaries, in this song I play with pushing them.
Burn The Coffin
Time moves fast, but memories last. Throughout this track I’m expressing the difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality. In fantasy if something is unfavorable, you change it, you control your fantasy. In real life the same is also true as burdens are only burdensome to unchanging mind sets. Inevitable events can be avoided by simply altering the way you perceive them.
I wrote this track about a breakup that was devastating to me. There wasn’t really a breakup, the relationship just ended abruptly while I was in my exes house alone and realized we could no longer be together. While crying I whipped out my phone and recorded the thoughts running through my mind in one take. I adlibbed the rhymes hence the repetition and simplicity but the melody stook. I recorded the demo the next day, eventually evolving it but couldn’t part with the demo so I merge the 2 into a dual track, repeating the same lyrics is a way of stating the impact for me. This track was originally titled ‘Gone’ because, oh honey, I was gone.
Nearly a decade ago I penned the lyrics to this song after the discovery of my social anxiety. I wanted to blame others, but there was no one to blame for a condition that can develop due to a multitude of reasons. When I first was learning to cope with my anxiety I fell lonely, and scared. While I felt hurt by my surroundings for scaring me, I didn’t want my surroundings to go away.
This is an interlude closely intertwined with ‘Damage’. After learning to cope with my anxiety in ways that were as place blaming I still had to, and still struggle, with feelings of not necessarily loneliness, but feeling like others truly understand me as I present myself.
This track is about giving into temptations that might not be accepted, or great for you. As someone who truly identifies with escapism through different venues I felt it was essential to include a song I wrote the concept for when I first started experimenting with both music and life in general. The recording is literally from a scrapped demo EP from my early teens and I didn’t feel the need to change it, because it felt raw and still so accurate.
Spotlight is a non structured song consisting of fragments of incomplete songs that shed light (pun intended) on idolization. At any time of the year it’s easy to go through phases of obsession towards anything. The only time it gets complicated is when that obsession is with a person and the feeling isn’t mutual. The line “throw them sparkles” is literally a metaphor for asking for acknowledgment.
I feel the lyrics to this track are pretty self explanatory. To quote my friend Tegan, “Succumbing to your weakness only sets you back further.” This phrase is especially enlightening to me because no action is neutral. It’s either going to lead you towards the direction of success or failure. Instant satisfaction often leads away from long term success. This song is about indulgence which perhaps can lead to everything positive burning down.
‘Ship Sinking’ was titled ‘Hey Hey’ for over a decade. I wrote the song in middle school and every year I expanded it from it’s original minimalist approach and put more matured feeling about the same topic of abandonment from others, and to ones own self expectation.
Forget Me Not
This record started with a summery open and closes with a track inspired by a flower blooming then dying. Someone who was intriguing and reciprocated my ideas of adventure took advantage of my kindness and naivety by feigning affection. My reaction was to play along so I was sure that they would never forget me.
Morning Call is 1 of 10 tracks available off of my debut LP ‘After Paradise’. Explore my version of the multiverse that is Paradise by having a listen or by streaming/ the full album for free via. Spotify or Apple Music.